Can't Stop Wanting, Won't Stop Wanting, but I'm not an Addict

i started it..
i used to hate it..
but now i keep wanting it...
but i'm not an Addict..
i'm just not..
not an Addict...
not yet....


Need to Sleep


Jumping and Falling

i'm still falling downwards as we speak..
falling from a jump, a huge leap that i made..
i've tried to grab things to hold on to..
so that maybe i can stop me..
me self from falling..
and i'm still trying...
cause i know...
when the time has come...
i'll grab that one thing...
and move upwards.. as we will speak....


The Pretender

Everytime they see a mirror
they always look at themselves
and ask themselves
"what am i doing?"
"why should i always pretend to be someone that i'm certainly not"
they, themselves don't know the answer
cause they're trapped in a situation, in which they cannot run from
cannot be solved

"who is that person, who stands in front of me?"
"as my reflection"
they know deep down that they're not that person
but their surrounding force them to
or perhaps they chose to be a pretender
in order to be accepted
to blend in

but is that right?
aren't we all suppose to be our own selves
and not to pretend to be someone that we are not?

and what if they'll lose everything
if they chose not to be a pretender?


Hatred For A Hypocrite

Mirrors are what you need,
what you need, to see what you have actually done
what you need, to exactly understand which type of a hypocrite are you

Your mind is too small,
too small, to think about what you have caused others
too small, to be used, to select your words
too small, compared to your big-bossy mouth

Your a heartless little creature
a heartless little creature, who's too arrogant to learn
too arrogant to mind your surroundings
too arrogant to place yourself in others' position
too arrogant to realized your hypocritical mind
and too heartless to have even care

cause what you are
what you are, is a miserable creatures
who won't look back
look back, and review..
review your evilness
review your meaningless life

cause what you are
what you are
is only a Hypocrite


Old Man and Death

so, i'm kinda new at this blogy-thingy. This is actually my first one. Well, the reason i made this, is because that i have to many things that i want to share with someone, but i just don't know how to express them through words in a conversations, and i think i'm better at writing the words down.
and it keeps me from going crazy, cause i sometimes like to talk to myself about what i have in mind, rather than talking about it with someone.
its just my thing anyway..
so, my very first theme would be "Old Man & Death"
this idea just came across my mind while i was watching across my window and saw an old man, who is for some reasons living in a nursing home for elderly people, he was opening his window and handing his fingers out, it was raining, he tried to taste each drop of the rainfall with his wrinkled-fingers.
and then he stared at the sky for a long brief moment.
it suddenly got me thinking, of how would it felt like, to live as an old man, i always wonder in fact, would i even be able to reach that phase of life.
The phase of life in which you might or might not have reached all your goals.
The phase in which you might have realized everything about your life
The phase of an "End"

and where would you go after that..?
after this very phase?
is it going to be the "Death Phase", the phase that scared the hell out of some people, when they think about it.
i don't really know the answer to this question, cause its not like i'm a very religious person (cause im obviously not).
Its just very interesting to me, of how would people spend their times, when they reached this phase of their lives.
so, if you guys have any comment please tell me.