can't sleep, want play around

Can't Stop Wanting, Won't Stop Wanting, but I'm not an Addict

i started it..

i used to hate it..

but now i keep wanting it...

but i'm not an Addict..

i'm just not..

not an Addict...

.....

not yet....

Need to Sleep

Jumping and Falling

i'm still falling downwards as we speak..
falling from a jump, a huge leap that i made..
i've tried to grab things to hold on to..
so that maybe i can stop me..
me self from falling..
and i'm still trying...
cause i know...
when the time has come...
i'll grab that one thing...
and move upwards.. as we will speak....

The Pretender

Everytime they see a mirror

they always look at themselves

and ask themselves

"what am i doing?"

"why should i always pretend to be someone that i'm certainly not"

they, themselves don't know the answer

cause they're trapped in a situation, in which they cannot run from

cannot be solved

"who is that person, who stands in front of me?"

"as my reflection"

they know deep down that they're not that person

but their surrounding force them to

or perhaps they chose to be a pretender

in order to be accepted

to blend in

but is that right?

aren't we all suppose to be our own selves

and not to pretend to be someone that we are not?

and what if they'll lose everything

if they chose not to be a pretender?

Hatred For A Hypocrite

Mirrors are what you need,

what you need, to see what you have actually done

what you need, to exactly understand which type of a hypocrite are you

Your mind is too small,

too small, to think about what you have caused others

too small, to be used, to select your words

too small, compared to your big-bossy mouth

Your a heartless little creature

a heartless little creature, who's too arrogant to learn

too arrogant to mind your surroundings

too arrogant to place yourself in others' position

too arrogant to realized your hypocritical mind

and too heartless to have even care

cause what you are

what you are, is a miserable creatures

who won't look back

look back, and review..

review your evilness

review your meaningless life

cause what you are

what you are

is only a Hypocrite

Old Man and Death

so, i'm kinda new at this blogy-thingy. This is actually my first one. Well, the reason i made this, is because that i have to many things that i want to share with someone, but i just don't know how to express them through words in a conversations, and i think i'm better at writing the words down.

and it keeps me from going crazy, cause i sometimes like to talk to myself about what i have in mind, rather than talking about it with someone.

its just my thing anyway..

so, my very first theme would be "Old Man & Death"

this idea just came across my mind while i was watching across my window and saw an old man, who is for some reasons living in a nursing home for elderly people, he was opening his window and handing his fingers out, it was raining, he tried to taste each drop of the rainfall with his wrinkled-fingers.

and then he stared at the sky for a long brief moment.

it suddenly got me thinking, of how would it felt like, to live as an old man, i always wonder in fact, would i even be able to reach that phase of life.

The phase of life in which you might or might not have reached all your goals.

The phase in which you might have realized everything about your life

The phase of an "End"

and where would you go after that..?

after this very phase?

is it going to be the "Death Phase", the phase that scared the hell out of some people, when they think about it.

i don't really know the answer to this question, cause its not like i'm a very religious person (cause im obviously not).

Its just very interesting to me, of how would people spend their times, when they reached this phase of their lives.

so, if you guys have any comment please tell me.

:)